Blog You Later

Something that doesn’t get better is life. Life gets harder as you get older you just have to know how to deal with it. Life is easy as a baby because you have no responsibility, all the responsibilities are on your parent/guardian. As you get older you have to become responsible & then your in charge of handling certain things yourself and at some point you become completely in charge of yourself. An adult they might say, you’ll be responsible for paying every bill and all your personal wants have to be paid for by you and life becomes less enjoyable. It becomes worse as the years go on.

 This week I plan to study for my SAT exam and to possibly go to a friends house. I haven’t done much since spread break so it would be nice to do something this weekend. I also will do my chores per usual & clean my room. A new movie came out so i’ll be watching that as well.

 I bought a bunch of clothes from shein and I was so excited about them. I got the clothes after waiting for 2 weeks and all the clothes were big as ever. Nothing fit properly at all, everything was big and baggy. I definitely regret buying all those clothes and had to return all the clothes.

  18. I wish I had asked my mother to sign up for the secure the bag with telfar because people had an opportunity to buy any of the telfar bags and as many as they wanted. It was like a weekend thing where you buy the bags (AKA: secure them) and they would come between july and october. The point is you would've gotten whichever ones you wanted. I wish I would've told her about it and asked her to get me some of them because everybody that knows me knows I absolutely love telfeezys.

17. One person I forgot was my Uncle Roland. Of course I remember him now or I wouldn’t be talking about him. He is one of my mothers brothers and he is not the best. He is very disrespectful and not the nicest person. The last time I saw him was probably 2008. It was 2008 because I remember us listening to the new Calabria 2008 version by ENUR. After that I never saw him again and completely forgot he existed until about a year ago. When he did some very distasteful and disgraceful things to some family members including my mom.  

  16. I knew my relationship was over when I lost interest. It started off well but as time went on we talked to each other less and less. I was also getting tired of her habits. Every time I called or texted her she was somewhere smoking or about to smoke. That really made me feel like she was a junkie and was not doing anything for herself. She also had severe mental health problems. She would always be somewhere fighting or about to kill herself. This caused me to stress constantly and I felt the need to check in on her at least once every 30 minutes. In the end, I cut her off because she went the whole week without texting me so I broke up with her through text. She had texted me back a few days after I sent the text she told me she was in jail for drugs and I knew I had made the right decision.

  15. The most recent time I had no fun was when I was in New York for Thanksgiving. My mother and I don’t get along so I already knew that the trip was going to be very tense.  I really didn’t want to be there. It was honestly very cold and I hated every second that I was Outside. The second thing that made the trip so horrible was that my godmother kept eating my food which everyone knows that I hate. The last thing that made the trip even worse was when my grandmother gave me money to do whatever I wanted with it so I bought my friends some Christmas gifts. When my mother found out she returned all of the stuff even the things that were non-refundable behind my back and I didn’t find out until the day I was leaving.

  14. I am very certain that life truly doesn’t ever get better. It seems like with age life gets worse and worse. My problems completely take over my life and I sometimes drown in them. As I have gotten older nothing has gotten better, everything just started going downhill and it's like you keep going further and further down with no end. The among of dark poetry I could probably write. This is somethingI am very certain of, almost 100%.

13. Thank you to me for picking myself up and helping myself. Thank you to me for always comforting myself and when people do me extremely dirty I always have my back. I am always looking out for me because nobody looks out for me. I am my own best friend (aside from Kayla). We go through some stuff most people could never survive. We deal with what we feel is the worst possible things’ in the world but we get through. Thank you self for staying sane and not going completely crazy. I am the best person I could ever ask for. Thank you self for simply being me.

  12.  I personally have never given a gift that wasn’t well received but in this movie that I watched this lady gifted her friends a psychic reading. They did not receive that gift well at all. They complained about the lady and how she was foolish. One girl drank some tea from the psychic and said it tasted and smelt like dirt.  The psychic tried to tell another girl about her future and was just reading things off the girls’ facebook. The friends thought the gift was so terrible, they ridiculed her for months.

 11. There have been so many secrets that have been kept from me but the craziest one that was kept from me was when my mom told me that my cousin had cancer. I couldn’t believe it. It was kept from me for so long which made me even more upset. She told me he had cancer but wouldn't tell me how far along it was or what kind or even how it could go away and be resolved. Till this day all I know is that he got his leg amputated and that they will test soon to see if his cancer is gone and hasn't spread.

 10.  One secret that was revealed was when I didn’t have my phone and everyday I would be with my friends after school and doing different things like trying food places, traveling the city, and doing different outdoor activities. At the height of my life, my mom's friend found out what I was doing so in order to not get in trouble, I had to stop.

9.  This is my long Apology: I am so so sorry for using all of your favorite perfume. I know how much you love that perfume and how much it reminds you of home and I am truly sorry. You worked so hard to be able to afford that perfume every month and I was completely wrong for using it without permission. That perfume is always sold out and you always try your best to make sure you can get one for you and one to send home and I must say that I am very sorry I didn't take that into consideration when I used it. That was very bad of me and immature of me to use your favorite fragrance without asking, once again I am sorry.

 8.  I used to know how to do the jerk. This weird challenge has come out where you record random people and tell them to do the jerk. They say skipping backward can help if you don’t know how to, at first I didn’t believe it but I tried and it turned out better than I expected. I can do the jerk here and there, it is really a hit or miss kind of thing. When I was younger I could do the jerk but now I can barely skip.

 7. Something I don’t exactly remember is my elementary school best friend. I remember that she was tall, light-skinned, really nice, and exactly two months older than me. I also remember that we had the same last names but I can’t remember her first name. I just remember doing everything with her.  From eating lunch to going outside with her and having a bunch of playdates with her. We stopped talking because I went to a different school but I do miss her a lot.

 6.  A time I knew I was when my mom was home before me and I didnt know so I lied about where I was. I was actually with my friends and we were riding around and we went to get something to eat. I told my mom I was at home sleeping. When I got home my mom walked out of her room and was standing there because I was on the phone with a friend telling her what my day consisted of and where I was. To sum it up we had a long conversation about honesty and trust and moving forward I'll be way more sneaky.

 5. Something I honestly have too much of is clothes. My room looks like a closet with a bed in it. I’ve always had a lot of clothes but when covid started I was buying clothes knowing I had nowhere to wear them to. Everything was on sale during Covid so I felt like I had to buy them. Clothes became my life, I had to buy three bins to hold some of the clothes, not including the clothes I had before covid. Now my clothes are split between the seasons, spring and summer in my bins during the winter and fall months, then it flips when spring comes.

4.  I can’t deny my love for the TVD universe. The way I am obsessed with vampire diaries and originals, some people are actually very concerned about it. I literally love the shows, quite honestly they feel like home. Some might say it’s my source of happiness and on some occasions I might agree but it’s really just the people and storyline that just makes it PERFECT.

3.  Almost Nine years ago my little cousin Lexy was born on September 28 at 4:14 pm. She was supposed to be a c section baby because she wasn’t facing the right way, but when Shawndel’s water broke Lexy was facing the right way and coming out. AS soon as she got in the bed she was pushing the baby out. After she was born they let me in the room and I was the first to see her.

2.  I must say I am very obsessed with purses, especially telfar bags. I don’t know what it is about those purses that just have me in love with them and the fact that the brand is owned by an african american just makes it that much better. One thing I love is supporting a black business, especially when the product is actually good. I do hate that they are always sold out because sometimes I wanna buy a bag but when I have the funds to, they are sold out or have a color I don’t want available.

  A time that I’d dressed inappropriately for an occasion was actually quite recent. I was invited to a formal birthday party and I wore a dress that I'd previously worn to a ball and a clutch purse. We arrive and we are looking at all the guests and realize that I overdressed and quite frankly out dressed the birthday girl. I rushed home to change into something a lot less formal and ended up wearing a sundress with sandals and a crossbody purse.